gracelikerain316

May already! Who'd have thought?

Happily living the dream at the moment. Enjoying married life and I am especially excited this week because I finally have a DSLR thanks to wonderful hubby.

Think I should be around DA a bit more again.. it seem to ebb and flow with me..

And I'm getting married.

A little over one year ago I wrote my last journal entry.

A lot can happen in a year.

Yipes.

Here Am I.

I am looking back over this year and realising that it's been a year at 'school' for me in many respects. Who'd've thunk it? 28 and still figuring it all out!

I am finally on the other side of some pretty big decisions, but decisions that were big internally, not externally. The results will be external eventually I guess, but boy, the work was just waay down inside me somewhere.

Sometimes I think those are the decisions God must bring us to before we are usable to Him. Declaring again that He is first, and that He is worthy. And grasping that the cost is well spent of a life lived His way.

So, I feel like I'm breathing freely again.. no longer tangled up for His clarity and faithfulness has brought me freedom. I shall be writing again soon!!!!!

Ah yes, and I'll stop being so obscure when writing journals someday also.

Blessings in Him!




Inhale the salt air
An axe to the moorings
Take this hope to sea

Well of late there have been quite a few areas that have been a bit of a struggle for me. I feel quite inadequate in almost every area of my life. I have felt because of these things I certainly have not been glorifying God with any sense of beauty or consistency. Right at the time when I should be exemplifying it most.

I haven't even written any good poems in my angst.

But today, I was looking at the cloudless blue sky, and I felt His peace approach.

"For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."
Matt 5:45b

The sky was so beautiful, a delicate kind of blue that seemed so pure and clean. Pristine. I am always conscious that my life is an open book to God. That He sees all this stuff I'm wrestling with, that nothing is hidden. All is laid bare, naked in its truth. Of late that knowledge has just made me sad, because I want to love Him with my life, yet I just keep on stumbling along. All my prayers and confessions have felt so dry. I'm just stumbling through battles I should already have won.

"For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust."
Psa 103:14

Surely my ever, over-stumbling, staggering attempts must be even more frustrating to Him than me? But today, I was confronted again with His character, the character I see revealed in Jesus, that I see revealed in His mission and purpose and word. For once, not simply confronted with my head knowledge of this, that core of my faith that never leaves, that bit that just knows, and keeps me walking.

No, today instead I felt it, I saw it all around.

In that blue sky, I was confronted with that sun that is still rising every day. Every morning.

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lam 3:21-23

I was confronted when I saw a child with it's mother at the shopping centre.

"Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
Matt 7:9-11

I was confronted,
soaking afternoon pristine blue,
That He loves me,
That He knows me,
That He forgives me,
I remembered what it is to be amazed by grace.
Restored by His love to joy.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit. "
Psa 51:10-12

It is easy to keep walking, when I know I can trust the One whose hand I'm holding. Whose hand holds me.

Amazing Grace.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psa 73:23-26

I recently bought 'A Collision' by the Dave Crowder Band*. It rocks.

God's love amazes me constantly. And this song is about all that jazz...

Foreverandever..

Love so incredible to know
It's never gonna go, never gonna go
Love too impossible and true
For anyone but You, for anyone but You
I think I'm on the brink of something large
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn
Or maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet, where I wanna be
I am Yours

Love so indelible to know
You're never gonna go
You're never gonna go
Love too unthinkable and true
For anyone but You
For anyone but You

Forever and ever and ever and ever and...

PS. Indelible - means cannot be removed or washed away. I love that.